Courtesy of knockneed man over on TGR...
Friday, November 5th, 2004
17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore
Dear Friends,
Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python, “always look on the bright side of life!” There IS some good news from Tuesday's election.
Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:
1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.
2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.
3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.
4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don’t approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)
5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.
6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!
7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.
8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.
9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.
10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.
11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!
12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.
13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.
14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.
15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.
16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!
17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.
Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'"
But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.
Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
www.michaelmoore.com
Michael Moore - 17 reasons not to slit your wrists
Top Ten Ways the Republicans Stole The Race
#10. George Bush said mean and hurtful things about his opponent. By going negative against Senator Kerry and pointing out his flip-flops, inconsistencies and 20-year voting record; voters felt less inclined to see Kerry as Presidential. When Kerry went negative, that was "politics" When Bush did it, however, it was really, really unfair and mean-spirited.
# 9. Bush unfairly didn't make available any photographs of himself in the NASA "bunny-suit," nor did he once have the courage to take on an orange skin tone through the use of instant "tan-in-a-bottle." That showed clearly Bush's lack of any sense of fair play.
# 8. Bush continually used 9/11 for his own political gain. Conversely, when senator Kerry used 9/11 in each of his various political speeches, it wasn't meant so much for his own political gain as much as it was intended to demonstrate a major philosophical difference between himself and his opponent. Therefore, Kerry's invocation of the September 11th tragedy was completely acceptable while Bush mentioning it was shameful and self-serving.
# 7. Unfair Media Advantage #1: Bush had Fox News giving fair and balanced reporting all during the election cycle. This consistently showed his candidacy in a less negative light than the reporting desks at ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC or CNN. Obviously, by reporting both sides of the story, Fox News unfairly confused the American voter with objective and honest reporting.
# 6. Unfair Media Advantage #2: Bush had both Rush and Sean Hannity; all Senator Kerry had was Bruce Springsteen and Al Franken.
# 5. The Swift Boat Veterans helped steal this election by offering their unsolicited opinion of John Kerry's character and leadership. The fact that Kerry had once testified before Congress citing their activities in Vietnam as "reminiscent of Genghis Khan," when taken in conjunction with their prior honorable service in the American military, gave them no right whatsoever to exercise their First Amendment right to free speech.
# 4. Late night comedian and talk show host Jay Leno kept making fun of Senator Kerry during his nightly monologue. Statistics show that since the number of jokes aired against both President Bush and the Senator were evenly split, it clearly represents a right-wing bias on the part of Leno and NBC.
# 3. It's patently unfair to put Ann Coulter up on a split screen with the likes of Susan Estrich.
# 2. The recently released Bin Laden tape making it clear that Osama preferred a Kerry victory was patently unfair since it reminded voters that the Massachusetts Senator was the candidate of choice among the French, German and Arab peoples.
And the number one reason why the Republicans Stole the 2004 Election....
# 1. Conservatives systematically disenfranchised the votes of millions of illegal aliens, cartoon characters and deceased would-be voters.
# 9. Bush unfairly didn't make available any photographs of himself in the NASA "bunny-suit," nor did he once have the courage to take on an orange skin tone through the use of instant "tan-in-a-bottle." That showed clearly Bush's lack of any sense of fair play.
# 8. Bush continually used 9/11 for his own political gain. Conversely, when senator Kerry used 9/11 in each of his various political speeches, it wasn't meant so much for his own political gain as much as it was intended to demonstrate a major philosophical difference between himself and his opponent. Therefore, Kerry's invocation of the September 11th tragedy was completely acceptable while Bush mentioning it was shameful and self-serving.
# 7. Unfair Media Advantage #1: Bush had Fox News giving fair and balanced reporting all during the election cycle. This consistently showed his candidacy in a less negative light than the reporting desks at ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC or CNN. Obviously, by reporting both sides of the story, Fox News unfairly confused the American voter with objective and honest reporting.
# 6. Unfair Media Advantage #2: Bush had both Rush and Sean Hannity; all Senator Kerry had was Bruce Springsteen and Al Franken.
# 5. The Swift Boat Veterans helped steal this election by offering their unsolicited opinion of John Kerry's character and leadership. The fact that Kerry had once testified before Congress citing their activities in Vietnam as "reminiscent of Genghis Khan," when taken in conjunction with their prior honorable service in the American military, gave them no right whatsoever to exercise their First Amendment right to free speech.
# 4. Late night comedian and talk show host Jay Leno kept making fun of Senator Kerry during his nightly monologue. Statistics show that since the number of jokes aired against both President Bush and the Senator were evenly split, it clearly represents a right-wing bias on the part of Leno and NBC.
# 3. It's patently unfair to put Ann Coulter up on a split screen with the likes of Susan Estrich.
# 2. The recently released Bin Laden tape making it clear that Osama preferred a Kerry victory was patently unfair since it reminded voters that the Massachusetts Senator was the candidate of choice among the French, German and Arab peoples.
And the number one reason why the Republicans Stole the 2004 Election....
# 1. Conservatives systematically disenfranchised the votes of millions of illegal aliens, cartoon characters and deceased would-be voters.
Thank you for that quote. I never knew that anyone had acknowledged that idea...I have felt that way for a while. As an undergrad I was a liberal. Now that I'm older I think it's a lot easier to be a liberal when one is young and doesn't have the responsibilies, expenses, and world view that one acquires with age.CAPBOY wrote:"Any man who is under 30 and is not a Liberal has no heart; and
any man who is over 30 and not a Conservative has no brains."
- Sir Winston Churchil
re: quote
I was looking for that quote a couple of weeks ago for XJ.
Of course since I'm over 50 a couple of points:
1. In life as in skiing and golf I find that sometimes a brain gets in the way.
2. See my post about age in the other forum. -G
Of course since I'm over 50 a couple of points:
1. In life as in skiing and golf I find that sometimes a brain gets in the way.
2. See my post about age in the other forum. -G
Don't Deer Valley Killington!
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LOL. I was young and almost Liberal. Then I went into the Air Force and saw what the Liberals were doing to our defense and other issues. Final straw came from my man, Jimmy Carter. With his military cuts, excessive spending and piss poor economy (yeah, it wasn't his, but he did absolutely NOTHING to improve it), I went from Independent to Republican. Now I am more Conservative than the Republicans, but it is all we have for now.MarieM wrote:Thank you for that quote. I never knew that anyone had acknowledged that idea...I have felt that way for a while. As an undergrad I was a liberal. Now that I'm older I think it's a lot easier to be a liberal when one is young and doesn't have the responsibilies, expenses, and world view that one acquires with age.CAPBOY wrote:"Any man who is under 30 and is not a Liberal has no heart; and
any man who is over 30 and not a Conservative has no brains."
- Sir Winston Churchil
MUST STOP POSTING ! MUST STOP POSTING !
Shut up and Ski!
Why's Everybody Always Pickin on Me?
Shut up and Ski!
Why's Everybody Always Pickin on Me?
One way or another
I think that it's pretty funny that I hear a lot of people say that they used to be a liberal, and then they turned conservative. I've never heard it the other way around.
Once a conservate, you never turn back.
-- Slap Shot
Once a conservate, you never turn back.
-- Slap Shot
Re: One way or another
The mind matures with ageSlap Shot wrote:I think that it's pretty funny that I hear a lot of people say that they used to be a liberal, and then they turned conservative. I've never heard it the other way around.
Once a conservate, you never turn back.
-- Slap Shot
Re: One way or another
I was feeling a little conservative after 911... But much like the world sentiment towards the US... It went away...Pedro wrote:The mind matures with ageSlap Shot wrote:I think that it's pretty funny that I hear a lot of people say that they used to be a liberal, and then they turned conservative. I've never heard it the other way around.
Once a conservate, you never turn back.
-- Slap Shot
Re: One way or another
Actually, I was ultra conservative in my teens. Many of my scoial stances have become more liberal.Slap Shot wrote:I think that it's pretty funny that I hear a lot of people say that they used to be a liberal, and then they turned conservative. I've never heard it the other way around.
Once a conservate, you never turn back.
-- Slap Shot