4/15 laugh

pcgrantham · Post by **pcgrantham** » Apr 15th, '05, 04:02

"We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no income tax this year." —Jay Leno

"Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq."
—Conan O'Brien

"President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off."
—Jay Leno

"Technically, you're not paying taxes. According to the Bush administration, your bank account is being liberated."
—Jay Leno

"Today the IRS gave some guidelines on how to avoid getting audited. Number one, don't list deductions that will raise a red flag. Number two, make sure you file on time. Number three, don't make any stupid anti-war speech at the Academy Awards."
—Jay Leno

"The IRS now says you can deduct weight loss plans off your taxes. You can write it off because the government has officially declared obesity a disease. And it's a disease, you can deduct medical expenses. That shows what a difference an administration can make. See under Bush, obesity is a disease. Under Clinton it was just sexy."
—Jay Leno

"Monday, April 15th, taxes are due. I just don't pay them. Yeah, this year Arthur Anderson did my taxes, I'm getting $6 billion back."
—Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents."
—Conan O'Brien

"If your accountant is Arthur Anderson ... today is the last day you could have your tax documents shredded by April 15th."
—David Letterman

"I hate to be the one to remind you, but just pretty soon it is going to be April 15th, it is going to be tax time. You know what I am saying? Are you ready? Well you know when something like this happens New Yorkers always try to put the best

face they can on a situation. For example the hookers in Times Square, for an extra $50 they will handle your extension."
—David Letterman

tyrolean_skier · Post by **tyrolean_skier** » Apr 15th, '05, 13:40

These jokes are a bit outdated. There are no longer hookers in Times Square. It is now a viable business/entertainment center.

Stormchaser · Post by **Stormchaser** » Apr 15th, '05, 14:21

tyrolean_skier wrote:These jokes are a bit outdated. There are no longer hookers in Times Square. It is now a viable business/entertainment center.

You obviously don't know where to look Ty...

Hal U. Dewin · Post by **Hal U. Dewin** » Apr 15th, '05, 14:28

tyrolean_skier wrote:These jokes are a bit outdated. There are no longer hookers in Times Square. It is now a viable business/entertainment center.

It sure is, they now have high priced escorts, in and out-call massage and lingerie girls, and massage palors....no hookers.

tyrolean_skier · Post by **tyrolean_skier** » Apr 15th, '05, 14:33

Stormchaser wrote:
tyrolean_skier wrote:These jokes are a bit outdated. There are no longer hookers in Times Square. It is now a viable business/entertainment center.

You obviously don't know where to look Ty...

You are probably right Stormy since I am not looking for that kind of entertainment. So what am I missing out on?

DMC · Post by **DMC** » Apr 15th, '05, 14:34

tyrolean_skier wrote:
Stormchaser wrote:
tyrolean_skier wrote:These jokes are a bit outdated. There are no longer hookers in Times Square. It is now a viable business/entertainment center.

You obviously don't know where to look Ty...
You are probably right Stormy since I am not looking for that kind of entertainment. So what am I missing out on?

Ty - just go 3 blocks west... All the porn and stuff got moved there...
ahem... Or - um - so i was told... ;)

Hal U. Dewin · Post by **Hal U. Dewin** » Apr 15th, '05, 14:39

Hal U. Dewin wrote:
tyrolean_skier wrote:These jokes are a bit outdated. There are no longer hookers in Times Square. It is now a viable business/entertainment center.
It sure is, they now have high priced escorts, in and out-call massage and lingerie girls, and massage parlors....no hookers.

DMC · Post by **DMC** » Apr 15th, '05, 14:47

I miss the days of the "tunnel bunnys" outside the Lincoln Tunnel...

They were pretty funny... Until Guiliani came and drove them off..

pcgrantham · Post by **pcgrantham** » Apr 15th, '05, 19:25

DMC wrote:
tyrolean_skier wrote:
Stormchaser wrote:
tyrolean_skier wrote:These jokes are a bit outdated. There are no longer hookers in Times Square. It is now a viable business/entertainment center.

You obviously don't know where to look Ty...
You are probably right Stormy since I am not looking for that kind of entertainment. So what am I missing out on?
Ty - just go 3 blocks west... All the porn and stuff got moved there...
ahem... Or - um - so i was told... ;)

Thanks, I've been looking all over for them.