andyzee wrote:Shame everyone can't be a big expert like the mighty DMC
I am an expert at skiing and snowboarding but I'm not mighty..... At least not until I become an expert at telemarking...
But thanks for the props Mr Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......
You really gotta come up with a better comeback... That doesnt involve physical threats and bad language...
andyzee wrote:Shame everyone can't be a big expert like the mighty DMC
I am an expert at skiing and snowboarding but I'm not mighty..... At least not until I become an expert at telemarking...
But thanks for the props Mr Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......
You really gotta come up with a better comeback... That doesnt involve physical threats and bad language...
This crap is growing old, not coming back with anything anymore. You want to bore these people, that's your peragative.
Admins, I respectfully request that you do not delete this post or me, thank you.
“A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.”
andyzee wrote:Shame everyone can't be a big expert like the mighty DMC
I am an expert at skiing and snowboarding but I'm not mighty..... At least not until I become an expert at telemarking...
But thanks for the props Mr Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......
You really gotta come up with a better comeback... That doesnt involve physical threats and bad language...
This crap is growing old, not coming back with anything anymore. You want to bore these people, that's your peragative.
GOOD!!! I've been boring these people for a long time.. They know not to read my posts by now...
Way to look out for the people!!!
Power to the people!!!
This is a seriously ancient joke. At least 12 years old.
The first reference I could find on Usenet was;
LEMON_JOHN Dec 28 1993, 3:27 am
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: LEMON_J...@tandem.com - Find messages by this author
Date: Tue, 28 Dec 93 3:20:02 EST
Local: Tues,Dec 28 1993 12:20 am
Subject: Real men don't miss a season
Reply to Author | Forward | Print | Individual Message | Show original | Report Abuse
It's winter and time to ski, so I thought of this charmer sent to me
by a coworker last winter.
REAL MEN DON'T MISS A SEASON
Tore up you knee playing sports this fall? Are your buddies already
razzing you about missing the season? No problem.
One needn't actually ski to experience the gestalt of skiing. Just
simulate the psychic and physical sensations. Here are 13 ways to
duplicate those ski thrills and really pin the fun meter in the red zone.
* Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a
snowstorm and you're tailing an 18-wheeler. Stop at any gas
station that serves food. When the waitress asks what you'd
like, order an upset stomach, because that's probably what
you'll get anyway.
* Visit you local butcher and pay $22 to sit in his walk-in freezer
for half an hour. Afterward, burn two $50 bills to warm up. It's
not real skiing but it's close.
* Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray
sandblast your face. You'll almost believe you're skiing in front
of a snowmaking gun.
* Sit under a sun lamp wearing goggles to get that chic raccoon
look.
* Wear apre's ski boots everywhere-even in the shower. For the
best effect, get the boots that look like two dead Afghan
hounds strapped to your calves.
* At the nearest hockey rink, walk across the ice 20 times in
your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, loaded accessory
bag, and poles. Make believe you're looking for your car.
* For ski-boot simulation at home, put a pebble in your street
shoes and tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
* Buy a pair of gloves and immediately throw one away. This will
save you from losing it later.
* Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $3.50 for a hamburger.
Be sure to wait in the longest line.
* Speaking of lines, stand in any movie line on the coldest day
of the year. Inch ahead with the crowd but don't go in. Do
this 12 to 18 times.
* To simulate losing a ski in deep powder, spend a lot of money
to fly to a Caribbean resort. When you arrive toss a Krugerrand
onto the beach. Then try to find it.
* To simulate glade skiing, take a jog through the woods - with
your eyes closed.
* Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a
motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
NONE OF THESE ACTIVITIES IS SKIING, BUT ALL OF THEM SURE FEEL LIKE IT !!
--
ya know...talking out both sides of your mouth worse than a corrupt politician...getting called on it...then deleting posts, editing posts, having your admin buddies delete other zoner's posts...yawn.
ya know...talking out both sides of your mouth worse than a corrupt politician...getting called on it...then deleting posts, editing posts, having your admin buddies delete other zoner's posts...yawn.
....shinanigans....
sorry.. was that ganging up? Cause only two people makes for a a lame ganging up... :)
Dr. NO wrote:Ah, sounds like a tag team rant of long ago. Just not the same people.
Sometimes people deserve to get tag-teamed. Hell, sometimes people are even looking for it. Why's everyone so f*** ing lame and sensitive? It's an internet chat board!?!?! Who cares if someone you barely know is busting your stones...
)