Hollywood trash

[Stormchaser]

The real reason for Patriots home success?

Cheerleaders for the Pats have decided to wear shorter skirts. According to a news release, these shorter skirts are what makes the male fans root harder!

[Stormchaser]

S.L.O.W. works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says,
"Hey, S.L.O.W.! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says S.L.O.W.. "He's in my bowling league."

When they are seated, a waitress asks S.L.O.W. if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,

"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around S.L.O.W., starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi baby.
Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

S.L.O.W.'s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
S.L.O.W. follows and spots her getting into a taxi.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

S.L.O.W. tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says, "Geez S.L.O.W., you picked up a real bitch this time."

S.L.O.W.'s funeral will be on Saturday

[Stormchaser]

A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Alameda County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible... The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Pittsburgh Stealers, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

[Stormchaser]

S.L.O.W and his buddy were playing golf when one pulls out a cigar. He didn't have a lighter, so he asked his friend if he had one. 'I sure do,' he replied while he reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12-inch Bic lighter. 'Wow!' said his friend, 'Where did you get that monster lighter?' 'I got it from my genie.' 'You have a genie?' 'Yes, right here in my golf bag.' 'Could I see him?' He opens his golf bag and out pops a genie. The friend asks the genie, 'Since, I'm a good friend of your master, will you grant me one wish?' 'Yes I will'' the genie replies. The friend asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie hops back into the golf bag and leaves him standing there, waiting for his million bucks. Suddenly, the sky begins to darken and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead is heard. The friend tells his golfing partner, 'I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!' He answers,'I forgot to tell you that the genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked him for a 12 inch Bic?'

[Stormchaser]

S.L.O.W.'s mom has been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked "Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?" "I was stung by a bee!"- she said. "Where?" he asked. "Between the first and second hole," she replied. He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."

[Stormchaser]

S.L.O.W. and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes S.L.O.W. cuts a fart and says “seven points.” His wife rolls over and asks, “What in the world was that?” S.L.O.W. says, “Touchdown, I’m ahead 7 to nothing.” A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie, score.” After about ten minutes later he farts again and says, Touchdown I’m ahead 14 to 7. Now starting to get into this the wife quickly farts again and says, “Touchdown, tie score.” S.L.O.W. strains really hard but, to no avail he can’t fart, so not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has and strains real hard to get out just one more fart. Straining real hard S.L.O.W. tries so hard he shits in the bed. The wife asks, “Now what the hell was that?” S.L.O.W. replies, “Half-time, switch sides.”

[Stormchaser]

Stormchaser walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $5.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "Can I help you?" "I was wondering", whispers Stormy, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?" "Yes" she purrs "I am." Stormy replies "Well wash your fvcking hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

[brownman]

Gracias !
Needed new material for a golf match this afternoon.
Appears my golf partners outside New England have grown silent on Boston stories.

Notice that SLOW has abandoned Chuck Noll and is taking the Roberto Clemente angle now...sad.

[junior]

Stealers??

[f.a.s.t.]

A spy, a cheater and liar, and a murderer walk into a bar.

The Patriots are in town.

[junior]

Aaron Hernandez, Tom Brady, Bob Kraft, and Bill Belichick are in a car together.

Who's driving?

[SnoBrdr]

A spy, a cheater and liar, and a murderer walk into a bar.

The Patriots are in town.

And they still beat the Stealers.

Glad to see that troll #2 has come to your aid.

Your kind really need to stick together.

Altho if you need his help, you really are both desperate and in trouble.

[junior]

A spy, a cheater and liar, and a murderer walk into a bar.

The Patriots are in town.

And they still beat the Stealers.

Glad to see that troll #2 has come to your aid.

Your kind really need to stick together.

Altho if you need his help, you really are both desperate and in trouble.

I bet all the Trolls know how to spell Steelers though.

# 1 Troll out

[madhatter]

A spy, a cheater and liar, and a murderer walk into a bar.

The Patriots are in town.

And they still beat the Stealers.

Glad to see that troll #2 has come to your aid.

Your kind really need to stick together.

Altho if you need his help, you really are both desperate and in trouble.

I bet all the Trolls know how to spell Steelers though.

# 1 Troll out

ya ever stop to think STEALers might be intentional?

[f.a.s.t.]

Picture of SnoBOREdr's and Stormchaser's brain found: